Ignorance

Ignorance.
I think this is something that is hard to admit that we have, or we delightfully exclaim that ignorance is bliss. I am guilty of both, however, my feelings towards admitting ignorance has changed as well as my thoughts that it is bliss.

In order to better prepare myself for this I looked up ignorance in the dictionary. While the first definition was slightly insulting, LACK OF EDUCATION, stupidity, foolishness, blindness, illiteracy, benightedness, unenlightenment, unintelligence, mental darkness. I found the second definition to more accurately describe the ignorance I have or have had. It described ignorance as UNAWARENESS OF, inexperience of, unfamiliarity with, innocence of, unconsciousness of, greenness about, oblivion about. The two adjectives that stick out most to me are unawareness and innocence of. I think both are something that I have overcome, or am working on overcoming.

In all the changes we have made regarding our health and lifestyles the thing I have learned the most about has been sympathy and empathy. While I have always had a knack for listening and comforting others this has been taken to a new level. Because I have experienced life one way, and now experience life another my ability to be sympathetic is greater. My capacity to love, and show compassion without sharing my own obstacles has heightened, and the way I show my sympathy has changed. I used to listen and be compassionate by sharing my own similar experiences. I choose now to listen and comfort while trying to redirect energy to the positive and expand on the good, or simply stick with listening. While I have experienced life events that seem devastating at the time one thing has been consistent for me, life moves on. With this I have two choices, I can pick up as many pieces as I can put a smile on my face and move on with life, or I can sit in my misery puddle and let life pass me by. Having done both I know which one is more beneficial for me and those around me.

I am often confronted by those who are shocked and amazed that I have four children with a fifth on the way. Just today a woman commented that she was surprised that I still had hair. Confused I touched my hair and said what? She responded saying she was surprised that I hadn’t pulled it all out with the stress that I must have from my children and having a husband who is gone so much. She asked how I did it. I have a simple answer for that, I just do. And I try my hardest to do it with a smile. Some days are hard or really hard and I won’t lie and say that I think raising four kids is easy, but is it supposed to be? Is being a parent supposed to be easy? A parent with two children faces challenges just as a parent with eight children does. It is not the challenge that needs focus it is having the skills to deal with the challenge that are important. In this situation size does not matter, skills do.

I told Danny I struggle with how to respond when people comment to me that I sure have my hands full, or something of that nature, I always felt my response played into the fact that indeed my hands were full and I was overworked and underpaid. I was so grateful the day the inspired response came to me of “I know, aren’t I lucky.” This has stopped a few people in their tracks, and usually puts a smile on the comment maker’s face. Positive energy is sometimes hard to come by, I try my hardest to deliver it wherever I can. The best thing about this response is that some days I do feel like my hands aren’t big enough, but I redirect myself when I focus on the blessing and not the challenge.

What does this have to do with ignorance? I was ignorant in my understanding that my reactions to others could affect their energy as well as my own and I was a more selfish person. I learned a great lesson from a healer. He has studied for many years and is very learned in what he practices. When explaining to us what his response to those who tell him that what he is doing is foolish or stupid, he doesn’t respond with anger or malice. He told us that it simply causes him to love them more. I believe that this is how Christ loves us. He loves us for the things we know, but loves us even more for the things we are ignorant in. I know that if we have a sincere desire in our heart to replace ignorance with truth Christ with bless us with a path to gain this knowledge. I have had moments of pure intelligence, and simple epiphanies that I know are a blessing for having my heart in the right place, and my mind open to receive the answers to my questions.

Am I still ignorant, certainly, am I working on this? My desire to gain knowledge is greater now than it has ever been before. I know that next to my relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus, and my family the knowledge that I have and gain is the most important thing to me. I am grateful to have the gift of the Holy Ghost who lets my heart know when I have found truth, or when I am simply dealing with the philosophies of men. My mom said it best to me the other day as I was describing what is what like listening to Dr. Ted Morter speak. I mentioned that I almost felt like I was listening to general conference, to that she replied “truth is truth is doesn’t matter where it is coming from.” It made me realize that sometimes you will know the truth in your heart long before you are able to accept it in your head.